Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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