i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
