Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
