OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
