Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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