Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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