I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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