well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
