Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
