someone threw a dead crab at me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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