Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
