his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
