me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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