I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The air was thick with penises
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
