I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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