Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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