Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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