i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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