did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
