Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
