After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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