is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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