my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
