So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
