wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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