yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
