Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
As shirtless as possible
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
