im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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