how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize