I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
