Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
