Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
