I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
