Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
