she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
