No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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