ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
