check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize