I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize