There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
