dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize