every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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