my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with