..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright