i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
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The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER