I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.