big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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