I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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