1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
