OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
