Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
