Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
