I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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