Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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