i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Farmville is her only friend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
