i would punch a child for taco bell
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
