So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
