i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
