smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
